I've got my cup of tea, and have had a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie for breakfast.  Breakfast of champions?  Probably not.  But, it was at least made with white wheat flour, which in theory makes it a tiny bit healthier.  And I only had one.  Anyway....  It's pretty quite right now.  The kids are watching their morning cartoons/eating breakfast in my room.  It hardly ever happens that way, but it'll give me a few moments to wake up.  We may have a new dog.  We found him roaming around our neighbor hood.  So I watched him for a good while and decided to put him in the back yard with the dog we already have.  And things went alright.  We called the animal shelter to see if anyone had called in a missing dog.  Looking in the paper for "lost" dogs.  Keeping an eye out to find what may have been former owners.  He's a pretty sweet dog.  Not any sort of training I can see.  We've taught him, or reminded him how, to sit.  The kids absolutly adore him.  Even though he out weighs them by a good 10 to 20 pounds.  *smiles*.  We call him Guy.  My husband actually hopes owners won't show up.  But we have to be good people and keep and eye and ear out.  The dog is a large black lab with an extremely friendly spirit.  For some reason the universe keeps sending animals my way.  We'll see what happens.  Routines are starting to move around again.  School's started for my husband, which is good.  Means I might find some time for pulling out my runes or cards.  *fingers crossed* 

I let my husband leave the house without tea this morning.  *laughs*  I just couldn't seem to roll out of bed.  The kids weren't awake yet, so all my censors said "sleep..."  I'd like to think it was just a problem for today, but it feels like I've been out of it for awhile.  I think I've narrowed it down to lack of "me time".  I haven't read my runes or cards in awhile.  They're just in their box.  Waiting.  I do like that my husband is home more often, but it's harder for me to do my readings.  Studying, that sort of thing.  I've yet to find that balance.  But classes and more work are starting up soon, so maybe I'll find the time I need.  That, or teach a 3 and 4 year old that my rocks and things are not toys.  Maybe if I do it in the kitchen, it'll be like cooking time.  Where I'm trying to teach them about tools.  That is where I do most of my "work" anyway.  I might as well start sharing it with them.  I like the idea of it, but it's the practice that will be tricky.  Well, thanks for the venting time.  It's nice to think these things through "out loud".  *smiles*  Hope everthing is well out there.

I haven't written anything at all in the past month.  For some reason, the words I'd usually type out have just stuck in my head.  I guess it was more time for inner reflection.  But during that time, I didn't do too much interesting.  My birthday stuff went well.  I've been getting a little "homesick" lately.  It happens, it's been about 6 months since I was last in Washington, so I guess it's about time.  We're aiming for going back next summer.  It seems a long time away.  I've lived in Texas now for 4 and a half years or so, and this area still doesn't feel as Home like to me.  I mean, my house is my sanctuary, but this town.  I like it well enough, but I don't love it.  Maybe because it doesn't quite have a center.  Or, it does but it's a center I don't have much to do with.  Which is to say, the university.  It's not a "center" I can walk around in.  Be comfortable, shop, wander, feel a part of.  It does have alot of nice parks.  And we get around to those usually at least once a week.  But damn, it's hot here!  It's been getting into the 100's lately.  And I guess that makes me miss Washington even more.  Eh.  I'm whining.  Time to clean the house. 

I still have the blahs left over from the last post.  And it's getting on my nerves.  Next week is my 28th birthday.  We'll be going to Houston for my birthday and the 4th.  And I'm kind of looking forward to it.  Maybe I just need a day out and about with out the kiddos.  The Houston Museum of Natural History has an exhibit called Geopalooza, or something like that.  Basically rocks, with a rock music setting.  I'm extremely fond of rocks, and music, so I thought this might be interesting.  And it's what I requested as my birthday present.  We have a museum membership so the biggest expense is driving down there and the associated costs.  Lunch at the Hobbit Hole or Nico Nico's.  Maybe a stop at Whole Foods, and/or Naked Bath and Body.  And these are all places my husband has no complaints about going to.  Anyway, maybe it'll finish the blah cycle for now.  But I'm going to start today by cleaning things up around here.  Physically, psychically.  Maybe I just haven't found my new groove with my husband being home so much more.  It's nice having him around but I get alot more stuff done when he's not around. 

And I thought about something last night.  Husband and I were watching a show called  Paranormal State.  Ghost and urban legend hunting.  And they all looked so young!!  *smiles*  I had to kick myself for even thinking that.  I'm not really old, but I guess it just kicks in that I don't look like that anymore.  People in my family don't start getting old till their 80's.  Anyway, there was a gentleman medium on the show.  And he was talking about the energies he was sensing.  And my husband (ever the logical mind) says "But the problem is, he's an uncalibrated instrument".  What immediately pops into my head (but not said out loud) is "Maybe he's only uncalibrated to your sense of training".  And that gave me a bit of a start.  I know that part of the "blah" issue, is my energies are blocked up.  Now, I know it's my fault.  Over the the last 6 or 7 years I've had a bad habit of damping them down to nothing.  Probably because the people I talk to on a regular basis, don't have that sense.  Don't have that belief.  My husband, his family.  They're pretty nice, intelligent people, but they have no interest in these things.  I talked to my dad last Monday.  I was telling him about some weird dreams I'd been having.  Dreams where things were on fire.  And then I told my grandmother.  And I was reminded that I'm not alone in this.  I was reminded that these senses were inherited.  That I grew up knowing that.  I never called myself psychic, but my family and friends did.  My family did, because they new what I was talking about.  I just figured I knew and felt things.  I still don't like the word psychic, I use intuitive.   But talking to my family about my dreams, and having them discuss them with me.  It helped.  The fact they didn't take it as crazy, but as something to consider and look into.  It felt nice.  It was a " Oh, yeah.  I'm not crazy and weird (or at least not the only one)."   And so, I looked up fire issues and was reminded.  Transformation and change.  The signs given to me December 31st.  When I chose a butterfly instead of the raven I though I'd picked up.  Time to clean myself up, find what feels right again.  And not what everyone around me expects to see.  Find my space again.  Just like it seems I have to every few months.  All because I keep shutting it off.  *shakes head*  Right.  So, stop hiding, start remembering, keep learning and open up.  Find the kernels of truth that were given to me, that were found by me and build.  I had a dream once where a great-great grandmother gave me a handful of corn.  And she said "When I first started growing this, it was small.  But now, it's sturdy and strong."  Another thing to remember.  Maybe it is crazy, but it's mine. 

So now to start my day.  I've put down what I've been thinking so I can move on to grow those ideas into something workable.  And already I feel a bit better.  I hope everyone out there is having a lovely day.  *hugs*  I'm glad there are people like you out there!

Trish

It's been a few weeks since I've had a project I've been passionate about.  I usually have something I'm doing that I actually like to do.  Bread baking, crochet, a book I'm reading, Some sewing craft.  But right now I don't have anything I really want to do, but am doing things only to do something.  I'm crocheting a poncho for my son, and I have to stop on that in a while, till I get more yarn, but I'm not really excited about it.  I'm about to start reading Ancestors of Avalon (Diana Paxson) and I'm hoping it does more than pass the time.  Maybe it's because my schedule has been thrown off so much.  My husband has changed jobs and now has an assistance-ship, so he no longer works nights.  Which is nice, but it also takes away some of the quite time I usually used for Rune reading, meditating, that kind of thing.  My garden is mostly in maintenance mode right now.  Part of my garden is hardly mine.  The dog took it over when I was gone for a week and squished everything but one petunia and the dwarf border grass.  The other section where my herbs are is doing alright.  The pots up front need watering more often, but the one tomato plant I had is done for the year, and its getting hot outside, so I'm not sure how much more my plants can do. 

So, I need something new.  I got a little excited today when I went to see if I could find some more stuff for my Family Tree.  And I could!  But...I have to wait for money to it.  *sighs*  Bugger, bugger, bugger.  Blah.  There are things about Ancestry.com that I love.  But it gripes me to have to pay for it.  I know there are other venues to find these things.  But they're usually not as easy.  Right so tomorrow...  talk to my husband about renewing our Ancestry.com subscription.  When we get paid.  Perhaps I really do need to get a job.